Revealing our true selves can feel like a huge risk now that we live in a world where everyone is presenting themselves as perfect, attractive, and happy online. What if we don’t feel like we are any of these things? Will being who we really scare people away? Will everyone just suddenly abandon us?
Being yourself can feel risky, and it is. There may be people in your life who have fully bought into the idea that being a certain way and presenting a certain image is all that matters. If you start showing your true self, these people may indeed treat you differently, and that’s a risk. But if you have to hide who you really are to be around these people, you can end up feeling lost, lonely, or even worthless, because you are basically telling yourself that who you really are isn’t OK. And other people don’t ever get to know who you really are, so you don’t feel as strongly connected to them either. So rather than letting fear drive our self-expression, we need to learn how to accept ourselves, so we can truly be who we are.
Here’s what to do:
Resist the urge to constantly please others
Seeking validation from others is a surefire way to prevent yourself from living your best life. If you happen to overthink everything, you probably carefully calculate every move and the word you say to appease others so you don’t have to deal with the feeling of rejection. Even though rejection is a hard pill to swallow, nothing is more exhausting than cherry-picking everything you do.
Remember: No matter what you do or say, you’re not going to be able to please every single person in the world. Playing it safe won’t allow you to chase after your dreams or make yourself comfortable in your own skin. It’s best to let go of the notion that it’s your responsibility to make everyone else comfortable when the only thing you should be responsible for is your own happiness.
Only say things you mean
Nothing is more damaging to your self-worth than saying things you don’t mean. This goes hand-in-hand with trying to please others because you’re afraid to rub someone the wrong way. Being true to your values and ethos is the greatest gift you can give yourself. This allows you to be open and honest with yourself in ways you couldn’t imagine. When something comes up that either bothers you or goes against what you believe, allow yourself to live in the discomfort and politely speak your truth. Usually, people say things they don’t mean because they don’t know how to sit with things that make them uncomfortable, so they’d rather avoid it altogether by just doing what the other person wants.
Be kind to yourself and appreciate who you are
At the end of the day, you should be kind and nurturing to yourself while you’re trying to figure out how to be more like yourself. Don’t beat yourself up or compare yourself to someone else when it seems so easy for them to be open and honest with their thoughts. You’re assuming that they’re comfortable in their skin when in reality, they could be having the same thoughts that you are.
Remind yourself to focus on your own journey. Do everything in your power to find your voice and take the next steps to live the life you’ve always wanted. As hard as it is to remember, nothing is more powerful than being yourself in a world that wants you to be like everyone else, when being like everyone else is, frankly, boring.
Celebrate your strengths.
In addition to negative self-talk, we can also easily slide into the habit of focusing on our weaknesses instead of celebrating our strengths. We all suck at things. In fact, we all suck at most things, and that’s OK. But it can really get us down when we focus on these things instead of focusing on what we’re good at.
Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
As you try to understand who you are as an individual, it will be tempting to compare yourself to others. We are surrounded by more beautiful, more successful, and more appealing versions of ourselves, and those alone can knock down our self-confidence and send us spiraling into mimicry. It’s easy not to like who you are and base your personality off someone else’s because they’re awesome or funny or rich. However, doing this will only stifle your growth and prevent you from discovering your true self. Once again, you will fall into a pattern of false self-discovery and wind up creating a personal instead of discovering your personality.
Learn More About Yourself
Do you know who you really are? Ever since you were young, you have been conditioned to be one way or another. It may be weird just to spend a day being your spontaneous self, but sometimes it is the only way that you can learn how to be yourself.
Forgive Yourself
Forgive yourself for thinking negatively. Forgive yourself for talking, without thinking twice. Forgive yourself for being rude to your superiors, your friends, your parents, or your siblings.
Don’t think negative thoughts about yourself for taking wrong steps or making wrong decisions.
This kind of thinking puts your focus on the problem and not the solution. It’s better to say good things about yourself than to say negative things. Always saying positive things about yourself is a sign that you have forgiven yourself. These tips will be helpful for you: How to Forgive Yourself and Move Forward for a Happier Life
Strive for What You Want to Accomplish
Being yourself does not have to mean that you have to be stuck in a status quo. Aim for what you want to achieve and strive for that accomplishment. You can improve yourself while still remaining true to yourself.