Letting go is about accepting what is happening right now and not worrying about what will come up tomorrow.
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let it be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” –Jack Kornfield.
If you find it hard to let go of the past, a bad relationship, grudges, etc., these tips could help:
Don’t live in chains when you have the key. We live with self-limiting beliefs that we let define who we are:
We think, “I could never do that!” or “I could never make that happen!” If you truly believe that, you’ll never accomplish your goals. Open up your mind, and believe in yourself. There will be many people who tell you that you can’t do it. It’s up to you to prove them wrong.
Let go of the idea that you can control others’ actions. We really only have control over ourselves and how we act.
You can’t change another person, so don’t waste your time and energy trying. I think this is the biggest factor that pushes people to hold onto unhelpful behaviors, like the need to please. We think, “If only I do everything for everyone, they’ll never get mad at me.” Wrong! Only worry about what you think of yourself. Free yourself from being controlled by what other people think. Start to prioritize how you feel about yourself. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” You can’t live by your values if you’re living for the approval of others.
Leave room for mistakes.
Did you make a mistake or say something stupid? It’s okay! Use the experience to learn and make a joke. It doesn’t make you stupid to say something wrong or silly: it makes you human, and sometimes even funny.
The reality is your thoughts don’t define your value. You are not the summation of your past experiences. Just because something doesn’t work out, doesn’t mean you are now labeled as a failure or you’re incapable of receiving what you desire in life.
Accept the things you cannot change.
Stop wishing things could be the way they once were. Bring yourself into the present moment. This is where life happens. You can’t change the past; you can only make decisions today to help how your future turns out.
Fully accepting the situation as it is without constantly wishing it would be different is really the only way to getting on the road to being okay. And this isn’t only about accepting situations. We have to start accepting people for who they are as well and believing them when they show us their true character. Because they aren’t lying.
Learn forgiveness.
Resentment and unwillingness to forgive will keep you locked in the past and prevent you from moving forward with your life. Remember: When you forgive, you aren’t doing it for the other person; you’re doing it for yourself. If for no other reason than that, forgive and let go.
“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” – Caroline Myss
Concentrate on yourself
When you look at living for yourself in life then you look after yourself first and foremost. Now, this is not being selfish but you learn to take of yourself so that you can handle the daily crap that life throws at us, you have self-worth and self-love that makes who you are more valuable. When you see yourself as being valuable in life and being kind and giving love freely, people can move freely into and out of your life, situations can change but you will be much more capable and strong at dealing with them. So practice some self-love along your journey to help you out.
Frequently Asked Questions about Letting Go Of The Past
1. Why is it hard to let go of the past?
Mainly because it is hard to stop the same thoughts going around and around in your mind. So you revisit the events all the time but the outcome is the same as you can not change it. Our minds are there to protect us in situations so when we get drew back to the past we have to evaluate what it means and how we can move forward. The problem with thinking about the same thing all the time is that it stops you from moving on and that is why it is so hard to let go of the past
2. How do I move on from the past?
In my opinion, you have to make a conscious decision in your mind that this has happened, and logically to live a happy life that you have to move on. Moving forward will occupy your mind and you will soon forget about these past events. So make that conscious decision in your mind that you have had enough and you are moving on. Close your eyes and manifest what life would look like without this problem, how great life would like, and then go out there and make it happen.
3. How do I forget the past and move on with my life?
Have a plan and a goal in life and follow it through. I can tell you there is nothing better than living for yourself and having daily goals to achieve. At this very time, I have just lost my job due to the global pandemic but you cannot dwell on the past. So I occupy myself training 3 times days, job searching, blogging, loving my family and I haven’t got the time or the energy to dwell on things that don’t matter to me anymore. When you keep your mind busy then it will take care of itself you just have to force yourself to stop when those thoughts come into your mind and make sure you are going to live the dream life you want instead.
4. How do you let go of past mistakes?
By accepting some sort of responsibility for it happening in the first place. You can not change some things and or other people’s thoughts and feelings. What you can control is accepting that this has happened, that you are the only one that changes those thoughts, and then actively learning from the experience and moving on in life. Apologize both to yourself and others if you did something wrong, but it is okay to make mistakes you just have to take responsibility that they have happened in the first place.
So there you have it all my thoughts on how to let go of the past and I know it isn’t easy and life can sometimes be a right ball ache. When you tackle life with a positive viewpoint, be kind, and work as hard as you can then life will change completely for you.
Carl Jung said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” There’s a lesson in that for all of us: Try to let go of whatever it is that’s holding you back from experiencing yourself. You’ll probably realize that you are not what other people say you are. You are not your pain, your past, or your emotions. It’s the negative ideas about ourselves and our hurtful self-talk that get in the way of who we really want to be. Being able to let go requires a strong sense of self, which gives you the ability to learn and grow from your experiences.